Anna presented to my clinical practice six months after having had a hysterectomy for uterine fibroids at the age of forty-six. Anna was married to Jonathan for the past twenty years but recently had taken up with a colleague. She and Rod was not only well endowed mores than her husband, they frequently engaged in rough sex and she wondered if she had done damage to her vagina.
She was examined by her the surgeon who performed the surgery and he confirmed there was no damage. Anna came to see me because she wanted to talk about sexual desire. She stated that prior to the surgery she had low sexual desire with her husband and was now experiencing it with Rod even though they were engaging in rough sex which she enjoyed only after they got going. I explained to Anna that sexual desire emerges out of sexual activity. In other words, what she was experiencing within months of this relationship outside of her marriage was pretty typical. That sexual attraction of a new relationship with all of the excitement accounts for that intense sexual desire initially which does diminish over time. But that was not all.
Anna also said she had vaginal dryness and she felt that that may be a contributing factor to her low sexual desire. After all, no one wants to do anything that hurst. I suggested she use a personal moisturizer/lubricant during sexual relations. Gynatrof is a hormone-free gel that both lubricates and moisturizes the oft sensitive vaginal tissues. Anna was thrilled with this suggestion. I also suggested she use Gynatrof twice a week to keep her vaginal tissues moist and help her to regain her own natural lubrication.
Now I must say I was curious about Anna’s marriage and her extra-marital affair. She discussed some of the frustrations she had with her husband which were mostly due to his anger issues. She also did not feel he paid enough attention to her. With Rod, she found the excitement that was missing in her marriage. Not only did they sext one another late at night which was mutually arousing, she said he was very complimentary and paid attention to her.
When I suggested she seek marriage counselling, she said she and her husband had financial issues and could not afford to do so. She also did not want to leave her husband while her children were still in high school which is not at all uncommon. She thanked me again for the Gynatrof and said, “ I know what you’re thinking. I should have married for money.”
Maureen McGrath is a Registered Nurse host of the Sunday Night Sex Show on News Talk 980 CKNW, feminist, women’s health expert and a 2016 TED speaker on the Sexless Marriage. Her book is available on Amazon.ca : Sex & Health: Why One Can’t Come Without The Other. She is recipient of the Vancouver Board of Trade Community Catalyst Award 2016 and a finalist for YWCA Women of Distinction.