“Are you sexually active?” “No,” said my patient, my husband & I have not had sex for a long time. Do you think I am asexual?” she asked. I’m not sure. Did you ever have sexual desire/chemistry for him?
Not really, she said. She met him when she was 18, two years after her mother died. She was an only child & her father was distant. He was ten years older & took care of her.
They had children years later. The sex was never good. He was nice enough, a good husband.
A few years ago, she met Jack at a choir. He was handsome, she felt tingling “down there.” When they hugged, she got excited. That’s it! I exclaimed. That’s sexual attraction!
Did you take it any further? No, she said. I was raised to be a “good girl.”
Hold it right there! Good girl? Good girl?
Do you know what good girl means?
Good girl means sex is shame based.
Good girl means you might only ever have sex with one man.
Good girls means sexual oppression & confusion.
Good girl means men want to have sex with you but not before they slut shame you.
Good girl means men have sex with you & then slut shame you.
Good girl means you play a passive sexual role. Your. Whole. life.
Good girls have restrictions placed on female agency.
Good girls means you miss out on one of life’s greatest pleasures. Time to change the narrative.
Maureen McGrath is not a good girl.