A sexual fantasy or an erotic fantasy is a thought process that kick-starts a person’s sexuality and is a contributing factor to increasing desire and arousal. A person is entirely responsible for their sexual desire, which relates to psychological health as well as imagination. For example, those with increased anxiety generally experience lower sexual desire which is associated with fewer sexual fantasies.

Sexual fantasy is a universal phenomenon (reported by 95% of people) but often lies still in the mind, never to be acted upon. Sexual fantasies may be quick flashbacks or long erotic stories as in pornographic films and/or literature. They may involve someone other than a person’s partner. Sexual fantasy is considered to be a taboo subject and, therefore, people are not inclined to discuss their fantasies.

Sexual fantasies are important in a relationship because they may increase sexual desire and arousal and the chance of experiencing orgasm, increasing sexual satisfaction. Sexual fantasies shared may increase sexual self-esteem and confidence in a relationship creating intimate moments shared exclusively by a couple (or a threesome, if that is your fantasy).

Women are inclined to have pleasant romantic fantasies; a few times per month according to study at the University of Granada. Men’s sexual fantasies are more adventurous involving promiscuity, cheating, and participating in an orgy.

Passion is vital to any relationship. Fantasy has the capacity to increase the passion whether shared with your lover or not. Thinking about another person while making love with your partner of many years serves to increase arousal and does no harm.

How to Incorporate Your Sexual Fantasies into Your Relationship

First off, simply paying attention to your sexual fantasies helps. Your fantasy is yours and therein lies its beauty. However, if you would like a bit of guidance here is my fantasy threesome for you:

  1. It is not uncommon for men and women to fantasize about having sex with their co-workers. This is a perfect scenario to play out in your own bedroom and it is a lot safer as well. So, you be the boss and let your partner be the new hire.
  2. A common fantasy for women is to make love with a stranger. This idea not only sounds titillating but is downright delicious. Be that stranger in the night for your woman. Rent a motel/hotel room. Women love this fantasy because they can make love with wreckless abandon.
  3. Working as an exotic dancer is a common fantasy for many women. Grabbing that pole and having the freedom to fully express one’s sexuality is exhilarating and being nude in front of people is erotic. So use your imagination. Grab that pole. See that crowd. And guys, be that crowd!

Hopefully this will provide you with the confidence in your sexual fantasies and get you and your imagination back to the bedroom having way more fun!

Maureen McGrath

Maureen McGrath

Host of the CKNW Sunday Night Health Show on Corus Radio. As a leading women's health expert and Registered Nurse, I understand the importance that sexual, vaginal, bladder and bowel health has on overall health and relationships.

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