Jane was a 75 year old patient who presented to my clinical practice for testing and diagnosis of her leakage of urine. After she had voided on my machine to see how full her bladder was and how fast she voids, I asked her to sit up on the plinth. Jane sat up on the plinth and put her feet in the stirrups and then sat bolt upright and said to me with panic in her voice, “I cannot have an orgasm.” I must say I was a bit surprised at her disclosure as I was expecting to focus on her leaky bladder.
Jane was not the picture of what many think of as a sexual woman or someone who was sexually active. For starters, her age was higher than most people associate with a sexually active woman. People are surprised to learn that those in their seventies and eighties can have a very full and active sex life.
A forty-four year old patient of mine (I will call him John) once asked me:
“So Maureen, when do people stop having sex? Sixty-five?”
“Well, let me answer it this way: a twenty-four year old male patient once asked me, why do people stop having sex at age thirty-five?” I said.
“Point taken,” said John.
We are sexual beings from cradle to grave. Advancing age does not mean an end to a sex life, but there are other conditions that occur as we age. For example, men may experience erectile dysfunction and women may experience (like my patient, Jane) leakage of urine or painful sex. All of these conditions may lead to less sex for someone. This is why it is important for your relationship that you talk to your partner about changes in your sexual health, like difficulty becoming aroused or the inability to experience orgasm (anorgasmia). Sexual health issues can be embarrassing and may cause relationship troubles.
There are many treatment options available today for individuals experiencing sexual dysfunction. So speak to your doctor or sex therapist about any changes you have noticed in your sex life that may prevent you from having satisfying sex and keeping you away from the bedroom. Most likely, your doctor will recommend any one of a number of treatment options to get you back to the bedroom.